When did all this madness begin? Well, I guess you could say when I was born, but I believe something cosmically intervened in 2012.
I’ve always had the ability to express myself through words rather than voice, however it took a breakup in the winter of 2016 to really push me beyond any limits I had faced before. Rather than ignore my feelings this time around, I chose a different path. Latching on to other peoples words and thoughts as a source for inspiration, I would slowly begin the self healing process.
I turned to journaling as a way out of my head and into the present. Staring at these words would clarify the things I had constantly ruminated about. I then decided to join a small intimate writing workshop, where the walls finally began to break down. My heart started to bleed out years of hurt and pain onto anything and everything that would soak it all in. Eventually I began combining my words with the photos I had been taking and the path I had been aimlessly wandering down for years was finally beginning to make some sense. Not only were others healing me, but I was healing myself.
The process of self love and healing isn’t an easy one. There’s an uncomfortable void you sit in. One you feel like you’ll never get out of. You go through a lot of days where you just want to give up. You want to fall back on old habits and old ways. You question is any of this worth it? As time passes by though, I’m beginning to believe it is. On some of my darkest days, it was other peoples words that helped guide me towards brighter lights. I can only hope in time, that some of my own words will be able do the same.
Keep wandering forward!