As time winds down on my stay here in Sedona, Arizona, I’m left with some thoughts.
What if I had stayed in New Jersey for the winter? Did the so called responsible thing and got what others would call my “shit” together. Stayed under dreary winter skies, threw my hands up and said, “this is just life for me!”
What if I succumbed to Brick, New Jersey, claiming that I just couldn’t do it? Accepted the fact that financially, I should have just stayed put.
A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to partake in some inner healing work with a Native American/Medicine Man. If you’d like to read more about it, you can find it in my blog post entitled: Healing in Sedona. He left me with some wisdom and clarity on this crazy thing we call life. One of the things he shared with me resonated extremely deeply.
He mentioned in life, that we are always being presented with fastballs, but we all allow them to just blow right by us.
I’m guilty at many times of letting opportunites go by, but the opportunity to head out west for the winter of 2020, was one fastball I wasn’t going to wiff on. Do we have to take on every opportunity that’s presented to us? NO! Because some fastballs, are actually curveballs. But this is where the power of your intuition comes in. I still find myself at times, trying to decipher between intuition and fear, but the more distractions that I let go of, the more I’m able to hear its whispers. The more I’m able to step outside of my comfort zone.
So what if I had stayed in New Jersey?
Well for starters, I would’ve never have had my experience with Standing Bear.
Had I stayed on the east coast, I’m not so sure I would’ve come out of my shell as much as I have. Confined to the four walls within my room, I found it extremely difficult to connect with others out east. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough, but out here, things have flowed much easier. I’ve pretty much forced myself into situations, where I’ve had to connect with others.
I learned that living with random people, isn’t as bad as I once thought it would be. In fact, my rooomate Anne drew the angel cards you’re seeing, randomly through-out this post.
I think in time, I would’ve connected the dots about the stored energy from my long term relationship ending, but I truely believe that it was meant to happen, here in Sedona.
I wouldn’t have met such wonderful people along my journey. From the young couple named Chance and Katie, who I met on the train early in the AM in San Diego, to my match.com date who was a lovely girl (online dating still isn’t for me.) To a sweetheart named Marli who I met on my very first day in Sedona, to the van dwellers from Chicago named Jack and Emma, who are living out many a dreams. The 78 year old Carlos, who killed a 15 mile hike, a girl named Sue who cycled across America, and a sweet girl named Athena who has self published three books on self improvement of her own. One of them being, our relationship to money!
To my yoga teachers Yolanda and Amanda who I think I crossed paths with for a reason. Yolanda for the fact we had a one on one session when I was experiencing some inner turmoil, and Amanda who introduced me to the amazing practice of Tantra Yoga. Oh I almost forget, the mind blowing sound session run by Daniel and Valerie at Aumbase Sedona.
How could I forget about my epic train ride up the west coast. I’d meet various faces, make a quick stop in Seattle, meet up with a dear friend in Victoria, and round it out by getting a meaningful tattoo designed by my niece and creatively inked by Lacey Jean.
Oh yea, and then there was that pretty police officer from Pennsylvania who pulled me over that I almost asked out!
I’m spending less than I normally would, because I’m down to very little in my bank account. It’s as if I’m being forced to monitor my expenses.
I applied to job in Alaska, and while I’m not sure I’m going to take it if they approach me, I at least gave myself the opportunity to do so.
So you see, had I stayed in New Jersey and withered away, none of these beautiful opportunities would’ve occurred.
That’s not saying my road could’ve led down a similar path eventually, but had I played it safe and stuck around, I’m not so sure that life would be moving ahead.
The journey isn’t over yet though, as I’m heading even farther out west. A place I actually had never given thought of going to. Yet, as life would dictate, things just sort of aligned. Another fastball that I was’t going to miss on.
I’m sharing this all, not with the thoughts of “hey look at me,” because to be honest, there was probably a time subconsciously that I was. I guess today, I’m still guilty of doing it at times, but now I catch myself.
Now I remind myself the only person that needs to see me, is me. And a reminder to you, that those that choose to see you, eventually will.
I’m sharing this with the hopes, that maybe you’ll see the fastballs in life that are passing you by. From time to time, when we step outside of our comfort zone, we’ll get struck directly in the head by one. OUCH they’ll fucking hurt, but the ones that knock us down, we can always get back up from.
I’ve had a lot of people along the way say that they are living through me. I ask you though to stop living through me, and start living for you. What I do is available to all of us, it’s just a matter of taking the leap and trusting in the fall. Our greatest teacher in life, will always be life. Whether you choose to swing or stand by though, falls squarely on you. So I challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone, if only for a bit.